Tuesday, October 15, 2013

day 15: free to let go.

one day last week my husband declared that saturday would be the day that we finally clean our room.  it was long, LONG, L     O      N      G  overdue.  and i'm not talking about by a few weeks.  it had gotten to the point of complacency....pretend i don't see the mounds of clothes as i try to find my way to the bed; pretend i don't see my suitcase from Influence still harboring a few articles of clothing that didn't get worn; pretend i don't see the dust bunnies that have taken up residence on my nightstand.  i'll stop there because that is embarrassing enough!

so saturday morning after a hearty pancake breakfast, we set to the task.  we gathered our supplies: dust rags & dust spray, vacuum cleaner, trash bags, and good music and prepared to clean to the finish.  as much as i hate cleaning, i do find it somewhat freeing.  i'm not talking daily tasks like cleaning up after dinner or picking up toys (daily - ha! who am i kidding!)  i'm talking deep cleaning. like vacuum the curtains, purge the closets, pull the bed away from the wall type cleaning.  it's tiring and time costuming, but in the end you marvel at the work that has been done.  {marvel, yes, that's exactly what i do now each and every time i walk into our room}

can i tell you we filled 3 black trash bags for goodwill and 2 trash bags of just trash!?!

i remembered a few things about myself as i was cleaning:
1. i have a hard time parting with things.
2. i try to stay connected to the past with things.
3. i have a thing for pens and lip gloss.

((i cleaned out 4 purses and had no less than 3 pens and 2 lip glosses in each one. ridiculous.))

as i was going through all this stuff, i found i needed to just make the decision to let it go.  i had to throw it in the bag, and once it was there, there was no looking back.  some of the stuff that i got rid of has been a source of contemplation with me before.  i always think that if i hold on to it for just a little longer, i might change my mind and wear it again.  or if i hold on to my messiah college men's lacrosse sweatpants, i'll be able to relive the glory days.  but i know the truth, i will never wear that shirt again, and those sweatpants will stay packed away in a tote in the closet.  it's time to let go.

i think there are many times that the Lord wants us to clean house and have a no turning back attitude.  it's so easy to live in a place of complacency though because we get comfortable.  we are familiar with the routine and it gets harder to do the difficult work of change.  but once we start, it can be so incredibly freeing!  it takes our willingness to take ahold of His hand and allow Him to lead us and rely on His strength to loosen our grip and let go.

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